A magic pill

What happens if you take a pill and hope that it solves all your problems? What happens if it solves them but creates a whole host of other issues? Is it ever possible to find a solution to everything, or is that just a too big a pill to swallow?

I feel that with one thing I find a cure to, another alement will follow. This is not to say that the whole world is against me or that my issues are worse then others, because they are not. But, as a very valued friend said to me, it does not matter how your problems compare to another persons, what is important is that those problems are yours and thus they are important to you.

My issue is that I feel that I'm self medicating, finding my own remedies to lifes issues, but when they work, I feel there is a whole list of side effects which I had not anticipated which suddenly need treating. I feel stuck in the oppositional area where do I reverse the original solution to remove the side effects, but in doing so, I land myself in the original problem. Is this a case of one step forward, two steps back?

I wish that things were simple and had some direction which would be a clear path to follow; an NHS yes/no chart to diagnosis. There isn't. And if there was, I would most likely be told to ask the help of my GP, for the world or good that is likely to do. Where is the cure all which will heel a broken heart, stitch close a wound and drive the body to a full recovery? Which branch of life's learning teaches us the alchemy of the pure mind, the biology of the body or the mechanics of the heart? As we all know there is no simple answer, no one area of life can teach how to solve the problems of the soul, without sounding deep. Where is my solution?

Can I take an evening class in the hearts desire, a first aid lesson in avoiding damage or an open university class in avoiding people and their baggage? At what stage does one become equiped to live a happy healthy lifestyle which is not about to be roused to conflict by petty influences whose judgment we hold higher then our self beliefs? When does everything become simple and why is the answer some great secret? Surely the answer to a life which rides an optimistic equilibrium runs on more than whole wheat, a veggi box selection, a restricted unit intake and 30mins of exercise a day! Surely if it was that simple, everyone would be doing it!

If I roll this idea around inside my head I keep comming back to a memory of a plastic wallet which held life's secrets, blutaced on the kitchen wall. An unlikely place to find the answers but i feel that it may be a starting point. It read:

Work like you don't need the money.
Dance like know one is watching.
Love like you have never been hurt.

I'm not so sure the answer to life's problems can be solved through tap, but I feel that if I can love like I've never been hurt, than I believe that I could be on the right track.

So, there may not be a pill to swallow, but lately, the answer may be found at the base of a bottle; a couple of wine nights have highlighted the value of many things, in the price of good bottle of wine under the cost of £5!

A house worth £94 a week

Having been infused with positivity recently I am very much aware that time is moving faster and this year is the final sprint of the known world, that is to say, my known world; come June, life as I have known it for the last three years will come to an end and I will have to find something else to whittle away my time. In the spirit of good things coming to an end, I have taken the advice where I should breath in and feel the excitement as apposed to my general view of the world where I should take a deep breath and get over it. In leu of embracing my final year, I decided that this year would not be a year where I would have to live in a petri dish of mould and damp and strove instead to live in the house where dreams are made of!

A fresh start, a new street, a fresh white - off white - house! A sturdy front door, bolted and locked three times to keep out the droughts and not an indicator of potential crime in the area. Windows, bolted closed to prevent damp. A few bricks missing out of the wall is not a structural issue but rather a method of increasing ventilation. Cracks in the walls enable a little more natural light to filter through from outside. Patchwork painted wallpaper improves the natural insulation of the walls, whist a radiator which hangs off the wall allows extra heat to escape out the back. The HotPoint Ice Diamond has been keeping food fresh from the mid eighties, some of which still lingers from the primary installation date. The garden is well overlooked to ensure maximum visibility in this neighbourhood watch area. The stairs are functional, allowing both residents to ascend whist the rungs of the banister descend in pieces on the ground floor. The bathrooms both long and short allow appropriate distance from the rest of the house allowing business to be conducted away from other housemates. The living room houses sofas which are so well made, supports which form the framework of them are so uncomfortable people choose not to sit on them, thus preventing scuff marks on the faux leather seats. The bedrooms are all of a good size. This house is perfect for it's purposes.


Im positive that this house is made with the student in mind. Magnolia throughout provides that institutional feeling which students like to experience at all times. Im also positive that this house is perfect in every single way.

And lastly for my dedicated reader, an extra note of positivity; School and education is the best time of your life. It goes down hill from here. And if this is as good as it gets, you may as well end it now.