Sunday 8 November 2009

What they don't tell you...

They say if you wait for the right person they will find you. What they don't tell you however is that they will just as likely find someone else.

So yes, this is not a passive remark. A word of wisdom as comes clear to the young. No, this is just a response to a status change. It's amazingly simple isn't it, that this is how our lives have become. Now social networking sites have an emotional effect on us. Seeing someone declare themselves as "In a Relationship" can bring closure for some and bring sadness for others, then there are just those who wish to gossip; do they have a type? Are they improving upon the last or have they found as good as they are going to get? But Gossip is not what has brought this thought to my mind. No, I have felt something shift in my heart. I know its just an organ, made to pump blood and keep us alive yet it is somehow much more then that. I felt sad.

Sad. Oh yes, I know what your thinking, if your still reading, this is just another blog about someone's lost love. He loves me, he loves me not. Go and pull the petals off a daisy and stop cluttering the internet with your drawn out emotions. Grow a spine and stand up straight. Well this is no lost love. Neither is it a found love. It's not even love. So what is it? It's a possibility.

A possibility! Turning emotions around onto the planes of chance and opportunity? To flip a coin! Ok, i'll admit, there is more to it then that. I'm human after all. So who is he, what is he to me?

He was a weight on the scale of passion. A balancing weight. I used this person to get back at someone who hurt me. I was with someone not so long ago and they took up another boy. I was aware of this boys existence, I mean I shared a bed with him. I'm still monogamous, it's the polygamist who imports people from the four corners of the world, to fold into his origami reality of flightless relationships. I just had to do something to make things even. At this point I should add that two wrongs can sometimes make a right. Yes, to work in my own favour and I will take it back as and when it suites me. And it was just a kiss. A kiss. But with this man I felt more passion then anything from this forged relationship I had sustained for 3 months. And it was a moment, an hour or so succeeded by lasagna. Then I never saw him again.

I never saw any of them again. Not The Polygamist and his Romanian lover, or this wonderful man. There is of course facebook, but what is that? A social networking site used only to catch those who pass the hook of the present tense yet manage to retain those in the net of the past. Their all in it together. Living their lives. And now he's In A Relationship.

They say if you wait for the right person, they will find you. I don't think he will find me, but one day he may find this washing up at his shore. And maybe he will know. I don't think much to the chance of this. The coast is far to wide, however this message has washed up on your shore. Maybe you will gain something from it. In writing this I find that its late. It is high tide and it should be I to be the one that got away.

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