Coming Home

"Are you a City Bird or a Country Bird?" my friends mum once asked me. I looked at her a little confused. "I'm a Country Bird." She continued. "I like my fields and fences and the corner shop. I'm not made for the city." I thought about it for a while.

I'm a City Bird I decided. Yes, I was nested in the countryside. I have grown up in the Fens, I know the city only from shopping and visiting family who reside there. I don't like the countryside, there is too much there not to like: It takes hours to get to the next village, if via public transport you have to navigate a crown of the earth, if you go in the car, the road will be closed because a cow fell over on it. There is nothing to do. Well there is always something to do, if your idea of fun is playing Frisbee with cow pats, or having a pint at the pub. But thats not real fun. The jobs are badly paid, compensated only by there not being anything of any value to buy. It's not fun. Therefore I have always wanted to spread my wings and go off into the city.

University came by and now I'm in the city. It's great. Things to do, people to see. There is always something going on, always noise and flashing lights. Excitement. The rush, the energy. Everything I need is here. Why would I ever want to go home?

A month into this, nothing has changed. I love the city more then ever and I have my own little over priced corner of it. But I was going home. I felt excited. Why? I asked myself? To see the people I love.

Okay, so this is just tak. Another sentimental blog about home is where the heart is.

End.

What they don't tell you...

They say if you wait for the right person they will find you. What they don't tell you however is that they will just as likely find someone else.

So yes, this is not a passive remark. A word of wisdom as comes clear to the young. No, this is just a response to a status change. It's amazingly simple isn't it, that this is how our lives have become. Now social networking sites have an emotional effect on us. Seeing someone declare themselves as "In a Relationship" can bring closure for some and bring sadness for others, then there are just those who wish to gossip; do they have a type? Are they improving upon the last or have they found as good as they are going to get? But Gossip is not what has brought this thought to my mind. No, I have felt something shift in my heart. I know its just an organ, made to pump blood and keep us alive yet it is somehow much more then that. I felt sad.

Sad. Oh yes, I know what your thinking, if your still reading, this is just another blog about someone's lost love. He loves me, he loves me not. Go and pull the petals off a daisy and stop cluttering the internet with your drawn out emotions. Grow a spine and stand up straight. Well this is no lost love. Neither is it a found love. It's not even love. So what is it? It's a possibility.

A possibility! Turning emotions around onto the planes of chance and opportunity? To flip a coin! Ok, i'll admit, there is more to it then that. I'm human after all. So who is he, what is he to me?

He was a weight on the scale of passion. A balancing weight. I used this person to get back at someone who hurt me. I was with someone not so long ago and they took up another boy. I was aware of this boys existence, I mean I shared a bed with him. I'm still monogamous, it's the polygamist who imports people from the four corners of the world, to fold into his origami reality of flightless relationships. I just had to do something to make things even. At this point I should add that two wrongs can sometimes make a right. Yes, to work in my own favour and I will take it back as and when it suites me. And it was just a kiss. A kiss. But with this man I felt more passion then anything from this forged relationship I had sustained for 3 months. And it was a moment, an hour or so succeeded by lasagna. Then I never saw him again.

I never saw any of them again. Not The Polygamist and his Romanian lover, or this wonderful man. There is of course facebook, but what is that? A social networking site used only to catch those who pass the hook of the present tense yet manage to retain those in the net of the past. Their all in it together. Living their lives. And now he's In A Relationship.

They say if you wait for the right person, they will find you. I don't think he will find me, but one day he may find this washing up at his shore. And maybe he will know. I don't think much to the chance of this. The coast is far to wide, however this message has washed up on your shore. Maybe you will gain something from it. In writing this I find that its late. It is high tide and it should be I to be the one that got away.